Thy Little Handmaiden

Pretty Is Not Enough

2011-09-14T12:44:00.004-05:00

Pretty is not enough....So the new Bare Escentuals commercial got me thinking. The slogan says “Pretty is what you are, Beauty is what you do with it.” I was curious about that statement and captured by it. I asked the Lord why? It sounds weird and like its telling people that who they are isn’t enough. So then I researched the slogan and the company.http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/02/business/media/for-bare-escentuals-pretty-isnt-good-enough.html?pagewanted=allThat’s the link I read. It tells of how they picked the models for the campaign, not on what they looked like but on personality based questions the models had to answer. The company never even saw the models they picked until they were getting ready to shoot the campaign ads.They wanted to make sure they had role models not just models. One they picked was a volunteer firefighter and another was a mother of three who played basketball and rode a motorcyle. They wanted real women who did real things. They also did not retouch the models. They left in every wrinkle and imperfection that might be seen as bad, but because it spoke of their life lived, they called it beauty.” “We can all be pretty, but beauty is an action,” said Leslie Blodgett, the executive chairman of Bare Escentuals. “Hopefully it’s a rally cry for ‘Don’t just be pretty and sit there and get your picture taken and do nothing.’ ”And this got me thinking about the Kingdom of God. God made us special people, he gifted us and we are his sons and daughters. We ARE. But most of us sit around and do nothing. We sit in our churches and listen but then go home unchanged. We blame everyone else for why nothing radical is happening but we don’t realize that it is up to us to live radically to see radical things. So I’m encouraged. A son or daughter is what we are. But we must do something with it. We must put it into action, we must live it out.I don’t think Bare Escentuals intended to cause that kind of thinking but I know I thank God for that little nugget of truth at the most random time.

By the word of their testimony

2011-07-09T20:43:00.002-05:00

So here are a couple of testimonies I had to write about Tour this year and the trip to Costa Rica. Later when I have more time I shall write more about my experience in MCs this year and try to include the bigger lessons I've learned along with the few mentioned in the following paragraphs. Enjoy~

"Last year during tour I had to deal with my knees going out on me and I learned how to let the Lord pull me into him and use his strength. This year going into tour I had 12 pinched nerves. I couldn’t understand why the Lord was letting this happen to me again right before tour. But through all the confusion and hurt, I once again relied on the Lord. His grace on me knows no bounds and I believe he took me to a different level of relying upon him. There is no way I did any amount of dancing of my own accord. Every move I made happened because of Christ living in me and having grace on my body. Through the pain and tears I was able to see the Lord’s hand in everything. Lives were touched through the dances and I can’t take any of the credit which is how it should be. Because of this, ALL of the Glory had to go to the Lord. There was no saving any of it for myself, I couldn’t claim anything. It was cool to see that people were responding to the God in me, instead of just a cool move I’d learned to do.

Costa Rica was a different experience than tour in drastically different ways and I cannot really compare the two and do justice to either. I still had pain but had learned to push past it with the Grace of God. It was easier to allow myself to be swallowed by His Grace in order to move which left me able to focus more on people. And they were desperate. The people of Costa Rica left such an impression on me that I felt convicted. Here these people were, running to the Lord for any type of prayer they could get. Several people on several occasions had no complaint or purpose for asking for prayer other than the soul reason of seeking an encounter with God. Do we do that here in America? I know I don’t. Normally it takes a moving of the Lord to get me to go up for prayer…or for that matter, it takes someone coming and getting me! How I want to be that desperate! To be a sponge that will soak up any drop of water someone decides to let drip. They were truly precious and I know the Lord had encounters with those people. How do I know? Because they were desperate for one and kept seeking until they got it."

AHHH! Are you for real???

2011-06-09T07:55:00.000-05:00

WOAH. Today we leave for Costa Rica! I still can't believe it. I'm up and packed and got passport in hand (so to speak) but I still don't believe it. Someone pinch me! It seems like we just got back from tour and now we are off again on one of the greatest adventures of our life. Lord, I know you will provide a great outpouring of your anointing and spirit.

I'm excited...really excited. A little nervous. I'm kinda lacking in the Spanish department, though I have to admit Jessica Camenisch is a great teacher and I've learned loads in one week. I'll be staying with host homes that don't really know english. Talk about out of comfort zone. But it will be great because I have to totally depend on the Lord. Jesus hold me cause I'm freaking out...in a good way.

Next time I write will be to post some pics (hopefully) and explain the wonderful things the Lord did while we were in Costa Rica. Ariana and Moises...here we come!

By the Word of the Lord...

2011-03-22T06:57:00.001-05:00

We will demolish every evil thought that tells us we are worthless. We shout and proclaim that in Jesus Christ we are priceless- we do matter in this world.
(2 Cor 10:5)

We declare the tearing down of the false idols Baal and Asherah. No longer will we give our children as sacrifices to Molech.

We are crying out for those whose voices are being silenced. There is hope for the unborn and it shall not be cut off.
(Prov 23:18 & Prov 31:8)

The womb is intended for God's creative action of life, not man's destructive action of death.

We are ambassadors of Reconciliation and declare that Love is long suffering. So be strong, be brave and don't give up for those whose hope is in the Lord shall be given renewed strength.

(3-18-11)

Untitled and Unfinished

2011-02-02T11:31:00.000-06:00

Glass warped, a house of fun.
Lack of sun cast shadows bright.
And all I see is me
With no chance of the Great Light.
Looking into the glass,
Mostly dark are the days.
And it hurts the most because
What I desire isn't holding my gaze.
Blue eyes stained black cast cold glances.
And when I dare-
When I take the chance...
Death entreats me as I stare.

So my sight shifts and
for a moment I'm fine.
My eyes briefly glimpse
of the Man so Divine.
Too quickly He fades
Back to the glass my eyes fall
Anger rises.
This is not what I want at all.
So I take a deeper look
locking my resolve
determined to take stock
of the problems I need to solve

A smile that's cracked
spilling forth lies and deceit
Eyes that judge
looking down on the weak
Ears that push
the mute button too often
clogged with whispers
of He who's Fallen
Disgust brims over
into salf flavored twin rivers
My anger shakes me
and my reflection looking at me shivers

It's then I realize
I'm holding the glass tightly
my hands bound to the frame
white knuckles not budging slightly.
In shock I convulse in agony.
A deep-retching groan
starting and resounding
from somewhere within my very bone.
"This is not what I want!"
I yell-falling to my knees.
"Remove what is before me!"
I gasp for clean air to breathe.
A scream rips through my throat.
I slam the glass into the floor.
Over and over, repeatedly, once more.
Til my knuckles are bloody and sore.
Still my hands do not let go.
In despair, I sit and cry.
Droplets fall off my chin, splashing on broken glass.
I can't do this, I realize.

Then calloused, warm hands cover mine
Gently they release my pain-removing my grasp
from the broken frame.
The same hands cup my face
and a soothing voice calls me by name.
I'm free from the power of the mirror.
In my gratitude I glance
to the face of my savior.
"What can I do for you?"
I ask, thinking of a song or dance.

A gentle smile.
A soft chuckle.
His arms wrap around me
cradling me close to him.
"Sit with me and just Be."

A word Picture

2011-01-10T14:20:00.000-06:00

1-9-11

Sitting on a hill waiting, being still but by no means doing nothing. I am silent, my soul is quiet, my spirit actively listening, waiting, resting on God.

The wind begins to move. I feel my hair rustle at its presence. The grass surrounding me tickles my legs. Birds chirp and sing their song to the Father who created them-who takes care of them.

The warmth of the sun kisses my skin-tenderly caressing my face.

I sit. I wait. I am still.

The wind picks up and I can hear it whistling in my ears. My hair delights in a dance around my face, stray stand ticking the back of my neck and cheeks. Contrasting with the warmth of the sun, the wind takes con a colder feel, briskly brushing my skin.

Slowly the sun's embrace lessens as the wind wins its cold battle. Clouds close over the sky, covering the earth in a dark blanket.I am separated from the sun's warm rays and the center stage now belongs to the wind as it makes its voice heard loud and howling. My hair no longer enjoying a lazy dance but now thrashing around me quite violently. The brisk chill of the stinging rush of wind has my skin rising in goose bumps.

Off in the distance rumbling growls of thunder speaks to the howling wind, forming a conversation of a bitter, threatening kind. My spine stiffens at the approach of a storm and my soul urges me to move from my spot on the hillside.

I sit. I wait. I am still.

I strengthen my will, for my spirit is calm and remains wanting to listen to His voice.

My head jerks slightly with surprise as a cold droplet of rain splashes against my cheek. I take a deep breath deciding I really should move. A whisper cuts through the screeching wind--wait, be still...remain.

I steel my resolve, not understanding but willing to obey. My mind screams against the soft whispers as my spirit clings to the reassuring softness. My eyes close tighter and my spirit rises above my soul. I wait.

Droplets fall faster now, harder against my skin. My clothes are slowly soaking--the wet cold chilling down to my bones.

My body shivers, my soul screams, but my spirit remains still.

Thunder begins to drown out even the beating of my heart. Lightening cracks and I jump at the harsh sound. The wind rushing against me makes it harder to sit still now. My hair that once danced in the air now sticks lifeless to my head, dripping water onto the rest of me. the ground beneath me gets softer and I can feel myself sink a little into the mud. I'm thoroughly soaked and the wind is buffeting against me. Rain drops feel like small pin pricks now as the cold is determined to beat into me.

My body shivers, my soul screams, my spirit stays still.

And then I hear a song. Its soft, barely audible as it is carried on the howling of the wind. But I can feel the melody deep inside as it finds me. It grows louder- a steady build against the roaring of wind and thunder. Lightening strikes and my eyes jerk wide open. Scorched earth smells off to my side and my heart stills. But the song regains my focus as I realize I'm singing the melody. The song is within me and bursting forth being carried by the wind. Soon the rain slows down and I feel the clouds break.

The sun greets my face as a long friend who has returned to me. Off in the distant sky color catches my eye and I see a rainbow. It's faint but beautiful none the less. The wind has slowed and the rain has stopped. I watch the rainbow, grateful for its faint whisper of beauty. Do my eyes deceive me though or are the colors getting brighter? Maybe my eyes are adjusting...no the rainbow is growing in size--its getting closer. The colors are becoming more solid the closer the get to me. My breathing speeds and becomes shallow as the rainbow moves closer to me. Its rushing me now and my body braces for a crash.

The colors collide with me and break apart. Its a symphony or colors moving around me each having its own song or melody, some singing a harmony as they dance around me. I can feel them pass through me even as well as see them move in elegant grace around my body. Laughter bubbles from within me and pours out of my mouth as this glorious display of affection envelopes me with His joy and His life. I feel a healing presence and a comfort that I had not before. The wind is now gently dancing around me, helping the warmth of the sun dry me out.

My spirit rejoices. It was still and was rewarded. The storm passed and did not harm me, yet I did not have to lift a finger to save myself. I did not strive. I did not trust in my own soulish whispers but remained in the voice of my spirit. I waited through the storm and was presented with a presence of God like I have never known. A precious gift to me given by my Father, the Creator.

My soul screamed, demanding to be heard. Had I listened I would have missed it all.

My Spirit was still and in the waiting I saw the Glory of God.

That's who I am?

2010-09-27T20:36:00.000-05:00

Has someone ever told you their first impression of you and it shocked you?

Or how about someone telling you that you sound one way when you think it sounds a complete different way?

Or maybe you said something and meant it one way but the person took it completely different?

I think we all go through something like that. But what is it about us that thinks we sound normal when really that phrase that just left our mouth came out completely rude or harsh to everyone who heard it?

Is it pride in us that tells us we sound fine? Are we just products of our culture or family atmosphere?

And when we realize that this is a problem and we try to fix it but nothing gets better, what do we do?

We pray for God's help and grace right?

Well, what if I've been doing that for a year and yet still get told that a lot of my remarks come off sounding harsh and rude?

What then?

On your mark...get set....GO!

2010-09-21T17:38:00.001-05:00

And we're off!

Literally this year has taken off at a fast pace and it will be all I can do to keep up. In fact, the only way to keep up is to make sure I'm running with God. So much has already happen that it is overwhelming a bit. God has sure set the pace for us this year and it's not just a sprint but long distance sprint.

Induction went smooth and the Lord was speaking freely. It was awesome. Gary and Sandy Cake were with us this weekend and gave us a message that I will be digesting for years as I realize what it means for me and my generation.

I'm so excited though. This weekend as we inducted Laurie, Tim and Melissa it became clear that this was a strong class that God hand picked for this year. It was even spoken over them that they would start where our class left off instead of having to start over at step 1! That is such a testament to their character and strength in Him. I'm so honored and blessed to be a part of this year.

Bring in on Lord. Just stay with us!

9-21-10

Back to the Beginning, but not quite...

2010-09-13T17:05:00.003-05:00

I'm back in Oklahoma city. The place where I started my amazing journey to find my Lord and King as my Father. The year was truly a blessing without measure or words to explain the depth of my findings. I can say that I came out of the year with glorious treasures.

I didn't make writing here a priority like I wanted to but I'm going to try again. Here I am this year, not as a student but as an intern but I know God has so much more to teach me just in a different way this year. I'm excited to see all that he does in the three students for this year. I'm amazed that I get to be a part of their journey.

Coming back to Oklahoma I find myself reunited with four of my classmates: Levi and Mel join me as Interns, Ryan and Hannah complete us as Externs. It's wonderful but also bittersweet as we are missing vital parts in Sarah, Ariana and Joseph (!Brightside! He belongs to the church so we shall see him often)

Tim, Laurie, and Melissa W. will be joining us Saturday as students and a new family will become a work in progress.

Many things have tried to stand in the way of this year but through all the sadness and pain we have come to remember that it is not unto death but unto the Glory of God. He has plans for this year and so far they are getting my blood pumping in a way that only His creativity and joy can! I'm so excited to see what this chapter of my life will tell, writing it shall be more of a priority this year as I plan on making this part of my journaling experience; combining technology with my leather bound greatness of paper.

Otter, Beaver, Golden Retriever

2010-01-27T15:34:00.006-06:00

Choleric, Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Melancholy

Ever heard these terms before?

How about D, I, S, C?

Or even Lion, Otter, Golden Retriever, Beaver?

Temperaments. These are all different ways to say the same things about what a person's tendencies in life are. We recently took a personality test here at MCOKC. It was very insightful and interesting to see how what people's personalities were and how accurate this little test can be, generally speaking of course as there are always exceptions and not everything in one personality will describe you completely.

For those of you who are reading this (and by the way thank you!) and have no idea what I am talking about, I will explain.

Everyone has a personality, everyone has tendencies and little quirks that help make them who they are. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. This quiz is helpful to know yourself as well as know those around you and how to respond (not react) to one another.

Choleric (D, Lion) people are usually very take charge kind of people. They can be described as determined, dominant, dictators, and powerful among other things. They like to be in control and have things their way. They generally are your problem solvers, leaders, risk takers, direct and decisive. They can be innovative, will place high-value on being on time. They can also overstep authorities, be a bit argumentative and will try too much at once. Their greatest fear is that they will be taken advantage of. They are very direct in conflict.

Sanguine (I, Otter) people are the 'fun' people. Everything revolves around having fun. They are known as being influential, inspiring, talkative, and are generally popular. They are people oriented and very carefree. They dislike being controlled and are pretty loud. These people tend to be very enthusiastic, persuasive, optimistic and emotional. They are creative problem solvers, great at encouraging others, good motivational speakers, and have a pretty good sense of humor. They also tend to be more concerned with what others think of them as they are doing something rather than on the something they are suppose to be doing. They tend to zone out on others and be inattentive. Their greatest fear is rejection and they run from conflict.

Phlegmatic (S, Golden Retriever) people are steady. They are loyal, mediators, easy going, and peaceful. They like to take the easy way and are very service oriented. They are calm and cooperative until a sudden change happens and the boat is rocked. They also like to procrastinate. These people are usually good listeners, team players, understanding and friendly. They tend to be a bit possessive but very reliable and dependable. Patient and empathetic can be used to describe them as well. They resist change, hold grudges, but are good at reconciling conflicts when they are not involved. Their greatest fear is loss of security.

Melancholy (C, Beaver) people are competent, dedicated, thinkers, and perfectionists. They like things to be done the right way and are very analytical. They tend to be introverted and have high standards. Usually, they are very deeply gifted but they have mood swings. They are accurate, conscientious, careful, precise, fact finders, and systematic. They are pretty even tempered but very emotional. They are thorough and like to define things. They need clear cut boundaries for action and relationships. They can be bound by procedures and methods and can get bogged down in details. While they are emotional, they prefer not to be open about it. Their greatest fear is being criticized.

So if you haven't guessed by now, my title represents what I am in the order I am. I am very high Sanguine, then Melancholy and a little Phlegmatic. Apparently I didn't register high at all in Choleric like I thought I might (and as Larissa thought I would too but I probably didn't because I was in Master's Commission)

Anyway, the importance of this test and finding out what all goes into your personality is to know yourself. Once you know yourself, you can better relate to others. And once you know others' personalities, you can better relate to them. It was interesting to see all my brothers' and sisters' personality types and then think about how we relate to one another and how I should relate to them in the future. Things about each of us seem to make more sense.

Another cool thing about this test was to see people in the Bible that have the same temperament or tendencies as you. My results were David, Gideon, and Naomi. Pretty cool since I was once told I had a David's heart. =)

So here I am: Otter, Beaver, Golden Retriever!

Clear Stone Tree Frog

2010-01-24T15:30:00.003-06:00

You put your right hand in, you put your wrong hand out, you put your right hand in and you shake it all about. You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself about. That's what its all about!

Um...no. lol.

So it's not all about bring right and wrong...or the hokey pokey. It's all about Jesus Christ. Everything in life boils down to our Savior on the cross. That is what I'm learning and what my mind is wrapping around right now. God doesn't care if I'm right or wrong, he doesn't care that I follow the letter of his law. He cares that I have a right relationship with his Son whom everything was created by and for. If I have a relationship with him and strive to know him...I won't need to worry about if I am right or not. How mind bendingly awesome!

So in everything I do right now, I'm trying to keep the focus on God. For I find i struggle the most when taking my eyes off of him and only concentrating on my work that has to be done.

I got a prophecy yesterday that I was a clear stone for people to see through to the other side. Yet I tended to let my clarity get clouded by confusion and when confusion came it attacked my teaching gift. So I find that if I keep focusing on God, my confusion melts away.

I've also had a word from God directly calling me his little tree frog for my soul clung to him. He reminded me of that yesterday. So if I can remember to cling to him, to look to him always I will be that clear stone.

LA here we come!

2009-11-11T12:13:00.002-06:00

A lot has happened. I am barely being able to keep up in my head what all we have done. God has moved me away from thinking about myself and my experience here to thinking about the group as a whole and what we need to accomplish. He is showing me that the best thing I can do for my classmates is encourage them. And it's fun! It really does bless me to be able to bless them and affirm them in who they are in Christ.

We just finished a book called Strengthening Yourself in The Lord and it was amazing. So many practical ways to call on God's strength so he can sustain us. I will probably refer to this book a lot through the year and my life in general.

This weekend was very busy and seems like a lifetime away already. Jerbarco Arnold, a former MC from CCK and dance teacher at SPA in Kirkland came down to teach us some dances for our tour. So we spend the whole weekend, from morning til evening, learning three dances. It was hard work and sometimes frustration but it was fun and well worth it to me. Even if my knee got aggravated and gave me some trouble. God is in control and these dances are really going to help us minister to God and to his people. What a wonderful way to spend out time!

This week we started a new book called Authority in Prayer and we are learning to declare things and not ask. We are moving towards knowing and understanding the power in prayer and what Authority God has given us and moving in that Authority. It's great.

Well, that is a quick update. This Saturday we are going to be on our way to LA for a Micro Soft Show to raise some money. We will be gone until the 20th, so prayers for protection and safety are welcome! Love you all!

Quick Update!

2009-10-15T12:56:00.003-05:00

Hey Everyone!

So a quick update:

It's been about four weeks since I came to Oklahoma City to enter Master's Commission and I am enjoying it. There are hard times to be sure but I've come to the understanding that it is worth it. I've learned that God's idea of pain is different from our idea of pain and that is such a revelation to me. I've actually had a lot of revelations in this short time, in fact there are times that I am just so overwhelmed. In those times I have learned the art of soaking in God's presence. And even the term sloaking. (To fall asleep while soaking.) :)

God's already healing some things in me as well which is exciting, exhausting and yes, painful as well. Not to mention, it's a long process. And I'm learning to enjoy it too. I'm a long way from where He will take me, it is a life long process as well but I think I have a good start.

The class part is good, I've learning a lot. About myself. About God, how to relate to him better. I'm still waiting for him to reveal the vision for my life, I have clues but a picture would be nice. I'm trusting he will reveal himself to me in his timing though. I'm learning different ways to praise and worship, that those terms do not mean specifically songs and singing and music. I'm learning the lifestyle of worship and the act of praise. I've learned that my freedom is in my praise. That is when I shine and how I get free and release things from within me. It's cool!

I'm also loving my host family. Sometimes things get awkward or I'm a little frustrated but on the whole I am where God wanted me and I find peace in that. I enjoy them. I enjoy their daughter and their lifestyle. It's a blessing.

My classmates are great. There are times where I don't necessarily get along with them but we learn to work through it and have grace. God put us here together for a reason and we have to trust He knows what he is doing.

That is the biggest thing I am learning and the hardest. To trust. And it's difficult. So pray for that.

I'm about out of time, so I'm going to end here but I will be back through out the year to give more in depth about my year. :)

I would appreciate emails, comments, face book messages, anything to keep in contact! And prayer.

~ Laura

Today is the day!

2009-09-18T11:17:00.003-05:00

So in about less than two hours I will be on the road heading to the new chapter in my life. I'm amazingly calm at the moment. It seems to be hitting me in phases. I'll be really excited, so much so that like last night I can't sleep for a while. Then there are the calm stretches where I feel like its not quite happening yet. But the underlying excitement is still always there.

I said goodbye to my dad and bother yesterday, as I will not see them before I leave today. Kinda sad, but once again it hasn't hit me yet. I'm sure it will Sunday after my mom leaves me....or later in the week once it becomes real that I will be living in OKC and my parents are not within 30 minutes of me. But God is amazing and He will be my strength and He will get me through it.

I'm ready to meet the rest of my classmates and my intern. I'm ready to see Pastor Dwight, Larissa, John, Jordan, Levi, and Melissa again. I'm ready to meet my host family and settle into my new home for the next year. I'm ready to give little Hannah her gift.

But more than all that I'm ready to meet God and learn to let Him work through me at a higher level. I'm ready to jump in and let Him break me to put me back together the way I was meant to be. I'm ready to see me as He sees me. I need this. I need Him. I need to realize I am loved for who I am, that I don't have to earn it. I am ready to look at me and see the Beauty that is Jesus within me.

I'm ready. Today is the day where I truly begin my journey. The preparation is all complete. The money is raised, the items are bought and packed, no loose ends. My journey begins today. Literally lol. It's a five and a half hour estimated drive from Conway, AR to OKC, OK.

So, OKC here I come. =)

And the countdown gets smaller

2009-09-09T13:40:00.000-05:00

Yes, we are in the one digits people! 9 more days!

I’ve been planning for this since late February and its little things that remind me its real. You know when you have been planning for something for so long its like, is this even going to happen?

Well the first moment that made it real for me was Seattle. That trip was amazing and I got glimpses of what changes I had to look forward to.

But then I went home and things were back to normal and I was even more ready to leave and begin my journey. But I felt stuck.

Then I got the call about my Host family and got to talk to my host mom. Cathleen Tichenor. She and her husband are a little older than me, have one two year old daughter, Hannah, and have a baby boy, Levi, on the way. I’m really beyond excited now! I move in 9 days! Next Friday, on the 18th!

There is so much I still need to do. Like pack. I don’t like packing and I am not sure how to get it all in our little trunk but it will work out. God is amazing and knows what he is doing and I am looking forward to trusting in him more with all the areas of my life and not just a few things.

*squeal of excitement*

So close!!!

2009-08-31T12:46:00.002-05:00

I'm getting closer and closer to packing up and leaving for OKC! My excitement is constantly getting bigger and bigger. :)

So, thanks to fundraisers and my church I have all the 4000 dollars needed for the tuition. Yay! Now we are working on getting as much of my monthly support as possible before I leave.

Recently we got a email from John Port saying that they have decided our Host Family arrangements and we should be getting a call from them with contact information. I do have to admit I am nervous about which family I will get and what they will be like and their rules. But it doesn't squish my excitement at all. I know God's hand is in all of this and the family I get put with will be the best for me and what I need.

There are just a couple more items I need:
A good backpack (like one that will last through any beating I might give it, not a walmart one)
A pair of work gloves
Space saver bags (The kind you vaccuum the air out so its really thin)
And plastic conatiners to put food and stuff in

Update

2009-08-17T13:05:00.003-05:00

Yes, so its been a long time since I have updated this thing. Apparently I'm not good at it :) But I will try to get better.

I'm still raising money to try and reach my goal. I'm not sure what the last count was but I think it was somewhere around 900 more dollars or so.

Recently, to help raise the funds I went to a Microsoft Show with MCOKC's class of 2009. (Who graduated August 3rd, Congrats) And we went to Seattle, Washington. It was amazing and I had a fantastic time. I really did not want to leave. In fact, coming home, I had a hard time adjusting. I just felt so in place with the MCs and when I came home, the familiar feeling of "I don't fit here" came rushing back harder than ever. I'm just so ready to begin my year and move on.

I leave September 18th, to spend the night in OKC. September 19th is a Luncheon where we meet everyone and move into our Host Families houses. Then September 20th is our Induction Day. I'm so beyond excited.

Bakesale

2009-05-08T13:18:00.002-05:00

So just thought I would briefly post how well the bakesale on Sunday went. But first I just want to thank everyone who baked something, and my family for running it for me since I got very sick early Sunday morning. They are great. :)

So I got more than enough money to send in my application :) Yay!! We got just over 145.00 I think. My mom counted it Sunday evening and it was something like that so Yay God.

I still have one more book to read, and honestly I am struggling a little bit. Normally I love to read but I'm having difficulty keeping my motivation up cause the fear of "its not going to work" keeps rearing its ugly head.

And I know God is an amazing God and keeps his promises and with him everything is possible. Its been shown to me countless times...So why do I still struggle with having faith?

Also on a different note entirely but I feel like i need to write this down some where so here is as good as any. I dug the ring that Ryan gave me out from the shoebox and am wearing it again. Weird ya I know but I'm not wearing it for the original reason he gave it to me. When Ryan and I were together it was a promise ring, a promise that we would be together always. Well God stepped in and straightened us out and put us back on the path He wanted us on. And so when we broke up, I took the ring off and put it back in the box and put the box in a shoebox with all the letters from him and put it under my bed. I haven't really thought of it much since I got over the break up.
Until the other day. I just started thinking about God and the promises I made to Him and the promises I broke to Him and myself. And normally this would bring me to tears but I felt God was with me. That no matter how I fail in keeping my promises, He will never break His promises to me. So I am wearing the ring as a reminder that God will deliver on the Promises He gave me, as a reminder to never take my life out of His hands, as a reminder to always listen to God and do it His way and not try to take matters in my own and say "it was God" when really...it was me helping God out. :) So yeah just felt like sharing that little revelation of mine =D

Thankful~

2009-04-12T16:03:00.003-05:00

So today is Easter. To some just about a bunny rabbit and egg hunts and to others its about their Lord and Savior conquering death to save us. I like to blend both lol. Sadly though, today it rained which canceled our Easter Egg Hunt, but the nursery still had theirs inside.

But the love I feel today can not be canceled by anything. I'm so amazed that God would send his son down to die for me. Nicole, Anita and Amory sang a song today called "Who am I?" And it just about made me cry. Cause really? Who am I that God would care enough to die for me? Here are the lyrics if you've never heard that song. Its sung by Point of Grace and normally I don't care for them much but I really liked this song.

Over time youve healed so much in me, I am living proof
That although my darkest hour had come,
Your light could still shine through
Though tough at times its just enough to cast a shadow on the wall,
Well I am grateful that you shine a light on me at all
Who am i that you would love me so gently?
Who am i that you would recognize my name?
Lord who am ithat you would speak to me so softly
Conversation with the love most high who am i
Amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me,
I once was lost but now Im found, was blind but now I see,
And the more I sing that sweet old song, the more I understand.
That I do not comprehend this love thats coming from your hand...
Who am ithat you would love me so gently?
Who am I that you would recognize my name?
Who am I that you would speak to me so softly
Conversation with the love most high... who am i
Grace, grace gods grace
Grace that will pardon and cleanse within,
Grace, grace, gods great grace
Grace that is greater than all my sin
Who am I that you would love me so gently?
Who am I that you would recognize my name?
Lord, who am I that you would speak to me so softly
Conversation with the love most high... who am i
Who am i
Who am i

Our dances also went pretty smoothly and I really hope that people were blessed because God sure blessed me as I helped choreograph one. And even though I'm having shin splints right now I'm still so grateful for today.

It also made me just so excited about Master's Commission. I cannot wait to go and learn the things God has for me and experience them at such an intimate level. I'm beyond happy today.

Also, the dates of the fundraisers will be coming shortly. Plus we will pass out flyers at church to everyone so they know, and we will be posting them in the bulletin when they get close as a reminder. :)

Almost done with application. Still have those books to read but I've done the personal sketch and one of the essays. So just two more and the books. But the passport is a little more difficult to get so I'm praying the money comes in for that as well as everything else.

Psa 115:13 He will send blessings on the worshippers of the Lord, on the small and on the great.

Fund Raising

2009-04-08T15:46:00.005-05:00

So with the nice chunk of change that I need to get me through the program, and me without a job right now, my family and I have been brainstorming fund raising ideas. My brother has really chipped in and come up with a lot. Its great to see him do this because he just gets so excited about some of the ideas and it blows me away that he would do this for me when he is already so busy and getting ready to enter college. I'm really blessed to have a brother like Daniel, and while we still argue, I am happy that we are so close. I'm going to totally miss him, and the rest of my family.

Here are some of the ideas we have thought of, some are your standard fund raising plans and some are kind of unique (in my opinion)

Bake Sale with a twist: Instead of having everyone bake something and bring it on a specific Sunday and sell it that day, we are going to have people volunteer to add their specialty to a list, pass that list around and if someone wants it, they sign up for it and when they want it by. So if someone wanted my chocolate chip cookies, they could say they want it for next Sunday and I would bring it to them then but they would pay for it up front. That way, in case they aren't going home right after church, they don't have to carry around a cake with them everywhere.

Silent Auction: Where people donate services or make something and others bid on them in secret by using ballots.

Strong Man Competition: My brother's idea. Where people compete in lifting weights, running, pulling things, etc and others place bets on who will win.

Designing and selling a Victory Fellowship Tee shirt: My brother drew the design and I found a way to put it on computer, its just an idea right now, we haven't picked a final design yet. And on the back will be the name and address of our church. We have to tweak the design so its readable but thats the general idea -->

Car Wash: We will probably do this one a lot on Saturdays during the warmer months.

Donations: I'll be making a little bucket or something and decorate it and put it on a table and let people put spare change in it.

So that's what I have so far. I'm still looking for a job so prayer for that would be greatly appreciated.
I'm also doing nursery on Wed. Nights, its normally Jenny's class but she's being gracious and letting me do it so I can save the money from that. Also any babysitting money will be saved as well.

Psa 37:3 Have faith in the Lord, and do good; be at rest in the land, and go after righteousness.

Overwhelmed, but in a good way!

2009-04-07T16:51:00.002-05:00

So I decided to create this blog as a means to keep track of my year at Masters Commission in Oklahoma. This will follow what I'm doing to prepare for the program, my experience once I get there, and the many places God takes me and my fellow MC classmates. :)

I'm super excited and I just want to be there now! But there is so much to do to prepare that I am a little overwhelmed but its a good thing. The application itself is almost filled out completely, I still have to do a character sketch and a couple book reflections and get a passport.

There's a number of things I have to buy to take with me as well, and a lot of money that needs to be raised. That's another reason I am starting this blog now, instead of waiting til I actually get into the program. You will be able to see the fundraisers I am planning, keep up with how much more money I need and know what to pray for.

So to start off with the amount of money I will need to go is approximately 5,575.00
4,000.00 is tuition and the other 1575.00 will be given to me in monthly increments of 150 dollars to live off of during the year. Also there are many items I need to buy before hand so money for that will be needed as well. Pray that this does not stress me out as money and numbers and figures have always been a stress in my life. I know God wants me to go so I'm placing my faith in that He will provide everything that I need.

On another note, I mentioned that I have to read two books and write a one page response to them. These are to be turned in before I go and I had a list of books to pick from. Luckily, my parents had a few of them already so all I have to do now is pick two and read them.
The books I have decided to read are "Don't Waste Your Life" By John Piper and "The Final Quest" by Rick Joyner.

Even with everything I have to do and obtain for the program, I am just so excited and thankful for the opportunity to go. God's timing is amazing and even though I wanted to go sooner than this, He knew that I needed to wait til this point in my life. I'm blessed beyond belief to have my family and church family to help and support me in this journey and I can't wait to see what God has planned for me. I'm ready to be made into His Vessel.

2Ti 2:20-21 Now in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver, but others of wood and earth, and some which are honored and some without honor. If a man makes himself clean from these, he will be a vessel for honor, made holy, ready for the master's use, ready for every good work.